I wanted to share a recent insight that I've been meditating on.  As readers of my blog know, I really value reading and the power of books.  And I also enjoy sharing snippets from current books in my Instagram stories.  So basically if I come across something that I find interesting I share that section of the text.
  Some nights I read for a while and find that there's nothing to share at all.  And then other nights I end up sharing multiple lines of text.  This led me to scouting for lines to share just for the chance at sharing something.  So I searched and searched and of course.........found absolutely nothing.  Why is this?  Well, I think it's a mysterious law of the universe that lays this ground rule: "Seek and Ye Shall NOT Find".  
  Then I gave up looking for an interesting passage of text to share and continued my reading and within a paragraph, of course, found a very thought-provoking line to share.  This rule applies to many other areas of life: work, relationships, solutions to problems etc.  It's especially true while playing the game Cards Against Humanity; anyone who has played the game knows that when you pick up a new card, it would have been the perfect card to have just played, the one you were seeking.
  I think this is pretty funny and has taught me a valuable lesson about the definition of "seeking", seeking is defined as "The attempt to find (something)."  I think problem lies with the attempting.  I don't think the answer to this paradox is the all-to-obvious inverse (to let something find YOU) but instead of that its lesson is to remove the attempt and to simply "Find".    Hope everyone has a Happy Memorial Day!  🇺🇸

  I've had some good realizations recently about how I am a product of the blending of those who have influenced/inspired me.  I feel good about my methods and techniques now and am ready to produce some work that is really authentic to me and really "Santoli".  
  What really hammered this home for me was trying to paint like those who inspired me and realizing that "trying" to paint like someone else is a terrible idea.  I've had this realization several times and always come to the same conclusion.  There's a line in a Bukowski poem that goes, "if you're trying to write like somebody else, forget about it."  I know it's hard because I'm always looking for the "secret".  And it's a sobering thing to realize, "hey man, there's no secret."  Not that I would even want there to be a surefire way to make a good painting.  Sure, there are ways of doing it that might work better for me, but I'm still bound to make a lot of shitty paintings.
  Anyway,  this is what I've been thinking about lately and now I'm going to go do some drawing and realize that I don't know anything at all.

  I was doing some painting last night and I realized again how much I love painting various textures.  The most amazing part of oil paint is the ability to transform one material into another, exactly like alchemy.
 The painting was all alla prima and took me about 3 hours to complete.  I'm a fast painter, but that was even fast for me to complete a painting.  I recently made a deal with myself that I will never rush a painting, if I feel like I'm rushing I put my brushes down and walk away; since this painting progressed from beginning to end, I didn't feel the need to walk away.  I feel like the speed also helps me because I don't end up overthinking areas and going back and muddling them up.
 It was also really fun to paint because I was really inspired by the color of the rum and the orange reflections that are created with light passing through the bottle.  Even though this painting only took a few hours, I was totally immersed and focused the entire time.  I've come to realize that the question of "how long did that take" is not an accurate reflection of the skill or quality of the painting.  
  Handling the smaller details such as the label on the bottle or the cap of the bottle was the only area where I used a smaller brush.  For those details I like to use small synthetic watercolor brushes, but the rest of it is larger bristle brushes.  And the details are actually pretty abstract when you see the painting close up.  I'm not sure if it's my own speed or laziness, but I always painted details in a shorthand sort of way.  I like suggesting a bit of detail, but I don't like laborious painting because it makes the painting feel lifeless in my opinion.  I feel like I captured a sense of space with this one and the light and textures are as accurate as I could make them.  Stay tuned for more soon!

  I started a self portrait today and an important thing that I need to remember moving forwards: Always simplify the values in the beginning stages.  Detail doesn't matter if the overall value structure is wrong.  Have a nice weekend everyone!